Can Men Benefit from Learning FAM?
Fertility awareness methods are ultimately user-dependent methods, and they are most successful when both partners fully understand the criteria for utilizing this method. This inevitably brings up larger sociological themes of gender, relationships, and reproductive capacity,
CIS MEN
The physiological difference between one partner in a relationship who can become pregnant and another partner who can impregnate is significant. It changes the way our bodies create, process, and balance hormones.
Healthy cis men are always fertile, another physiological difference that changes their relationship to reproduction. For them, every encounter could possibly result in pregnancy. Because of our menstrual cycles (and pregnancy cycles) this is impossible.
Although one can practice this method without the input of the partner, cis men can greatly benefit from learning fertility awareness and understanding the hormonal changes of the menstrual cycle. Here are a few reasons why that can be impactful, even though they don't menstruate themselves. And before we get started, let's make sure we acknowledge that fertility awareness method can be very unsafe to practice with a partner who is practicing reproductive coercion, or attempting to control your reproduction in any way. These notes are for positive, supportive partners who want to gain something from this experience too.
He will better understand you, his sister, his mother, and other women around him. By understanding the four quadrants of the menstrual cycle, and how this affects every part of our brain chemistry and our being, he will learn to respect the moments of rawness and trust in the fluctuations. It will teach him to be a better listener during those times, to truly understand where you need support, and to also clearly communicate what his needs may be.
He will better understand his own fertility and hormonal health. No surprise, but a healthy lifestyle overall will benefit everyone in the home or spread to everyone you spend time with. Your good habits and proper education of your health is inspiring to him and encourages him to take charge of his health too. He will be more conscious and able to identify when things don't feel right, or if he needs medical or sexual health guidance.
He will learn better self mastery, and avoid impregnating you by accident or carelessly. Teaching him the skill of identifying fertile quality cervical fluid through his senses, learning proper withdrawal technique, and avoiding penis-in-vagina sex in the fertile window are all upsides to men learning fertility awareness method. They finally have to confront the fact that it is they who do the impregnating and that's why its important that they be responsible for where their sperm ends up. Fertility awareness really forces this issue and I think it's a very healthy and necessary discussion.
The sex is amazing when its cyclical. The limitations of the rules of fertility awareness can actually increase sexual creativity. The fertile window in particular is a time to think about sex differently, really focusing on bringing each other pleasure without penis-in-vagina sex or inside ejaculation being the goal. Learn more about each other's sexual fantasies, pleasure points, and use the time to increase intimacy. During the infertile phases, you may want more sensual sex, and he will know not to hit your cervix so hard while it is low in your vaginal canal. Once you learn this flow with your partner, things get really fun.
He will be prepared for other intimate parts of life cycles and relationships. Because we are so alienated from birth (and death too), many men find themselves grossed out or freaked out. This is partly from the way media presented it to them as well. But whatever the reason, we need to find a way to educate them and reintroduce them to these very basic human processes. Fertility awareness is great at this, and your partner will know all about the ins and outs of your bodily processes by the end of this, trust me!
In my opinion, fertility awareness should be a basic part of sex education that is introduced to young cis men early on in their lives. Even as adults, fertility awareness helps men better understand when the fertile period occurs, how contraceptives might affect the menstrual cycle, and how contraceptives impact those in their lives who use it. Men's awareness of the menstrual cycle can help couples make better informed decisions about family planning and future parenthood, and how that connects with their reproductive behavior.
TRANS MEN, NON-BINARY, GENDERQUEER PEOPLE WHO MENSTRUATE
Trans men can also benefit from utilizing fertility awareness method, especially if they decide to continue ovulating/menstruating.
The use of hormone replacement therapy (testosterone) will not necessarily suppress the ovulatory cycle. Therefore, most all of the fertility awareness method can be applied to the cycles of a person on testosterone.
Trans men can utilize fertility awareness method to track HRT side effects and make better informed healthcare decisions with their practitioners about dosage, timing, and other long term transitioning plans.
They can use the method to successfully become pregnant if they choose to be.
They are less likely to be persuaded about the use of birth control when they don't need it, because they understand the protective effects of the ovulatory hormones. They may see the value in the menstrual cycle for their long term health, rather than the short term effects from birth control. Birth control is touted as stopping all periods, but many times, the drugs make menstruation a hassle and irregularly timed, which can trigger worse dysphoria for trans men.